All my life I´ve been overweight, sometimes more, sometimes a bit less. Tried all diets, pills, teas, and any new thing that would help me loose weight allowing me to eat what I wanted. My love of food topped anything else, it always has, food is conforting makes you me feel so good, so happy at least it did.
A couple months ago we moved to a new house, my bedroom has floor to ceiling mirrors on the closet. At our other place we didnt have this. I hated the mirrors, I barely breezed by them to get something, I avoided looking. I don´t know why but one day I decided to look, and stare and figure why I didn´t like it, of course it was showing me the person I had become. I could hardly recognize myself I´m 36 and I look so much older, I hated it, I hated ME! For allowing this to happen, for realizing my love of food got me there, for not being stronger and dealing with things differently. I´ve tried walking but can´t do it too much cause I get exhausted and everything hurts, I´ve triend watching exercise videos but it doesn´t work.
This week something in my brain snapped, food became no longer so important, now I have a hunger, but a hunger to be who I want to be, and to look how I want to look. I want to be sexy, wear cute clothes, enjoy long walks, put on a bathing suit. I know its going to be a long road to get there, but for the first time in my life I´m not afraid to take it, I have decided that I´m going to be thin, I´m going to be healthy, I´m going to exercise and feel good, I´m going to eat only what I need to eat. Even at moments when I have doubts and feel hungry. I just have to look at the mirror and be reminded of the bigger picture and continue.
This is the first week, the fifith day, we´ll see what tomorrow brings.......
